Author Archives: elchiang

Life 101: How to Adult

Thank you to Kirsten Adams ’16 for letting us reblog her post. Check out her BMC Banter Blog!

Text on lined paper. It says "that horrifying moment when you're looking for an adult but you realize you are an adult. so you look around for an older adult. an adultier adult. someone better at adulting than you.At the beginning of last semester, this meme was floating around the internet. It perfectly captured how I was feeling about recently turning 21 and preparing to enter the “real” world. During my internship last summer, one of my students came up to me and asked permission to do something. My first instinct was to tell them to ask “an adult” until I realized that I *was* the adult in the room, and I had the authority to give them an answer. The idea of becoming a better, “adultier adult” is especially relevant right now as I am starting to think about postgraduate life, expenses, and worries. Luckily for me, and every mawrter, Bryn Mawr has created programming geared towards helping students become prepared and confident adultier adults.

Last night I attended the second talk, “Life After Bryn Mawr: Milk and Cookies and a picture of the budget worksheet and the Life After Bryn Mawr punch cardCan You Pay My Bill?” with a handful of other seniors. Alums from different class years and staff from supporting departments and programs on campus were on hand to provide insight into postgraduate life, with this talk thinking specifically about finances and budgeting. Our first activity was to fill out a sample budget sheet with blank spaces for things like rent, cell phone, entertainment, charity, and insurance just to name a few necessities and luxuries that made the list. Looking at all of the rows and columns needing an estimate, it was pretty easy to get overwhelmed with all of the expenses associated with living outside of Bryn Mawr’s castle-like walls. The alums and staff however were there to calm our worries and give insight into how to make it all more manageable.

Milk and Cookies and Life After Bryn Mawr punch card

Milk and cookies make everything better!

We spent the rest of the time listening to the panel members talk about their experiences after college with money, finances, and budgeting, and we had an opportunity to ask questions. Throughout the discussion, words and terms swirled around us, some of which we weren’t familiar with. Everybody present was more than willing to explain and share their personal experiences with us which was very comforting and made the idea of finances post-college less intimidating. And, in true Bryn Mawr fashion, we were able to fill our tummies as we filled our minds with this truly invaluable information.

The two main ideas I came away from the discussion with were:

 

Figure out what is important to you. The alums made it clear that when coming up with our budgets, we should base it on what is important to us, and not necessarily on what is expected. What is important to one person may not be as important to somebody else, and that’s okay.

Being “independent” does not mean being alone. Just because we move into the real world does not mean that we can no longer ask for help, guidance, or support.

I’ve noticed during my time here that so much of what we talk about is getting through Bryn Mawr, but there isn’t as much conversation about what happens after we leave. I am so grateful for this series of talks about life after college and look forward to future events. It’s one thing to google these things, or read about them in books/online, but hearing from alumnae/i who have experienced what life is like at Bryn Mawr and then navigated the “real world”, makes hearing and understanding the information that much easier and more familiar. Thank you to everybody involved in this series! I am already feeling more confident knowing how much support there is for us, not only while we are on campus, but when we leave as well.

postcard3“There are always opportunities to learn something new, even when you are starting out in a first job doing ‘grunt work’.”
“True love doesn’t feel like fireworks – it is more like finding a comfortable sweatshirt that you never want to take off!”
“Life is a marathon – not a sprint – enjoy the scenery while you run.

“How do you not get disenchanted with the real world/your job?”

“How do you make friends in a new city?”

“How do you not come back to East/West after graduating?”

postcard2“Rather than making up a budget, take really good notes about expenses in your first six months, then evaluate your capacity from there.”

“Don’t be afraid to cook larger meals than what you can eat – use your freezer to stock up!

 

“Men feel threatened by smart women and we need to LEARN how to operate in male professions.” (#1)

“The world didn’t have the honor system – ‘trust but verify’ everything.”
“The more BMC friends you learn here with, the bigger the army will be when you get in trouble because of #1 above.”

“Go to alumnae events in your town, find alumnae of all ages wherever you travel – they will always welcome you.”

“Your GPA is irrelevant, being a Bryn Mawr alumna is what you’ll be known as, embrace it for the great life it will bring you.”

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“You don’t have to love or like your first job.”
“Living with a roommate is a great way to not be lonely! Plus it’s easier to figure out bills/life.” “People who didn’t go to BMC may not understand your relationship with your alma mater. That’s okay!”
“There’s no shame in living with your parents.” <- “Real!”

 

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“Be adventurous and take risks.”
“You don’t need to have it all figured out.”
“You are brilliant and have earned an education that will serve you exceptionally well in everything you do.”

“Have internships/externships starting freshman year.
“Work first after college not grad school.”
“Companies will pay employees to go to grad school.”
“Start cultivating professional relationships beginning in freshman yr thru LinkedIn.”

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“Alumnae will go out of their way to help you – find them via any means and reach out.” Hannah Smith

 

 

 

“How much intelligence there is in the body – there’s much more than the mental plane!” Sara Synder 1986

 

 

 

 

 

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“I wish I better understood the purpose and utility of an informational interview and had done many my senior year to better understand some career paths.”

 

 

“That alums aren’t just willing, but want to talk to me about careers and help me out.”

 

 

 

Student sitting on top of their pile of debt

The Beginning: Learning About My Student Loans

I used all four years of College to ignore my debt. It was a burden I wasn’t ready to carry and also at that point I wasn’t really convinced that I would dig myself into a financial hole. If I was already conscience about how I spent my money – why would I ever wind up $30,000 in debt? It didn’t make sense, but I knew that it went hand-in-hand with my financial aid packet. So, if I wanted to go to school and graduate – I would take the financial aid packet and work whenever I had free time.

Because I was avoiding by loans, I thought I had more money than I really did. I did not pay attention to how I was budgeting, if I had cut back on a few cups of coffee here and there – I could have freed up some extra cash. And that cash could have ensured, at the least, that my interest was not growing at rapid speeds. I was convinced that I was a victim of my loans. Anytime student loans were brought up, I would zip out of that room faster than you could say “principal balance”. I was in the same situation Ariel was when she had to give her voice to Ursela in order to have a pair of legs. I had to take on these loans to get a leg up in the job market. Then I started telling myself – if everyone else had debts, what did my debt really mean? It wasn’t like I was the only one getting a ‘F’ in a class full of ‘A’s’ – I was getting a ‘F’ along side all the other ‘F’s’. So really ground zero wasn’t being free of debt – it was -$30,000.

Then I graduated, and along side the quarter life crisis, I was realizing that I needed to do something about those loans. That first month out of College, oh boy, I kept finding myself contemplating about life, death and nihilism. I wasn’t getting any answers, but the pressure was still there. This was the turning point – the very first step: Acknowledging that I had loans, and I could do something about it. Continue reading